"Milwaukee hides along the lake, not far from Chicago and closer all the time, hoping like hell no one notices it and decides that every bad thing about rapidly growing cities has to come to Milwaukee now too."

"Colorado Springs has that big mountain with the Air Force base in it, so you could maybe take over that place and make it a super villain lair. I also had a waitress tell me a really funny dirty joke there one time. But on the whole I�d rather be in Milwaukee."

From "A highly subjective and judgmental ranking of major league and Triple-A cities."